Pity Party

So many of you know that I have taken up running.  I started almost 2 years ago to accomplish a half marathon and found that I was overwhelmed with the accomplishment that came from running and doing races.  I was struggling a couple of years ago and found that running was my "out" and what a better way to stay fit.  After my third half marathon I set out to accomplish a full marathon.  After months of hard training and only 3 weeks until the top of Utah marathon, I injured my left knee and was not able to do the race.  I took 2 months off of doing nothing and recently have been doing physical therapy to try to get me back to where I was.  Unfortunately for some reason it just does not want to heal.  After seeing a few doctors I was told 2 ways I could go:  (1) that it will take a very long time for it to heal and that I need to stop running for a while and be PATIENT! I've been patient long enough dang it!!!!! or (2) I could have surgery, which he didn't recommend since it can heal on it's own.  I knew what the right thing was to do and I wasn't happy about it.  I realized what little hope I had of doing my race in May, wasn't going to happen.
 I had signed up for the Ogden marathon hoping I would be able to do it, so here I am once again not being able to achieve my goal of doing a marathon.  I know that it is only a race and there are plenty more of them, but being so close to doing one and having that pretty much wiped out from underneath ya, not only once but twice is very discouraging. 
As I have put the word out to sell my spot for the race, I have been more than emotional and quite can't figure out why this means so much to me. 
So within the last year and a half I have been dealing with some personal issues,  I had skin cancer removed from my face, and this ongoing issue with my knee that just won't heal.  I have definitely been a little bitter at times and have had my share of pity parties of why things keep happening to me.   I sit and wonder what I am supposed to be learning from all of this.  Patience?  Humility?